In 2005, precious baby Rebekah was born to my friends Dave and Teresa, two of the godliest people I know. The way they live their lives has always been an inspiration to me, but never as much as in the years since Rebekah’s birth. You see, Rebekah only lived for six days.

I will never truly know what the past six years have been like for my friends. And in totally honesty, I feel guilty that I haven’t been more involved in their lives during that time — especially since I’ve been a recipient of the blessings Dave and Teresa have experienced through their grief.

I never got to meet Rebekah, but the impact her life and death have had on me is indescribable. Her family has allowed her story to live on in a truly dynamic way.

Dave and Teresa, along with their daughter, Lydia, have taught me that God has a significant plan for us — no matter how long or short our lives. I have seen His strength and goodness in the midst of tragedy because this family had allowed me to. They have been open about their emotions — good and bad. They have shown their humanness without shame. I have witnessed them give God the glory through unbelievable sacrifice. I have been challenged and humbled. And I’m so thankful. Dave and Teresa’s message is one of not letting loss defeat us but instead allowing it to change us for the better.

Maybe you are grieving the loss of something or someone significant. Or perhaps you are walking that road with someone dear to you. What an incredible testimony your story can be. I encourage you to share your journey with others in your life—your small group, your community, your tribe. You never know what God will teach them through you.

Six days, one tiny baby, a God-honoring family, and my life will never by the same.

Until next time,
Signe

With the election taking place tomorrow I find myself asking this question… What is the truth? It seems like the news media has teams of people who do nothing but inform us when a candidate is telling the complete truth and when they are not. The obvious inference is that they are lying to us. But they’d say they’re simply “spinning.” Candidates and their teams use “spin” when making statements to the press, in speeches, and when asked direct questions, leaving all of us screaming… “What is the real truth!?”

 

One person defined spin as, To provide an interpretation of (a statement or event, for example), especially in a way meant to sway public opinion.” My definition would be more like, “Half truths or all out lies that keep us from finding out what really happened or what you’re really thinking or believe.”

 

Some techniques of spin are (as seen in Wikipedia):

  • Selectively presenting facts and quotes that support one’s position. That is, giving half of the story so that the real story is never exposed. Some people call this “cherry picking.”
  • Non-denial denial – a statement that seems direct, clearcut and unambiguous at first hearing, but when carefully parsed is revealed not to be a denial at all, and is thus not untruthful. It is a case in which words that are literally true are used to convey a false impression. As in the infamous statement made by Bill Clinton when he was physically involved with Monica Lewinsky. He announced, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” It later transpired that the truth of the statement hinged on Clinton’s use of a narrow legal definition of “sexual relations” which had been agreed upon for the purposes of the case – that sex is defined in many legal codes as a person making physical contact with another person’s sex organs. While President Clinton and Miss Lewsinsky had been physical in many other ways he hadn’t made contact with these specific areas.
  • Phrasing in a way that assumes unproven truths
  • Euphemisms to disguise or promote one’s agenda

Spin has become so much a part of our culture that Bill O’Reilly, host of The O’Reilly Factor on Fox News announces that his show is a “The No Spin Zone.” Mr. O’Reilly allows no spin and will drive hard to get to the truth if anyone tries to spin the facts.

 

Spin is a dangerous thing as it misleads and keeps you from knowing the real truth. But it happens in small groups all the time (especially in men’s accountability groups) and is very, very dangerous because, when someone is caught “spinning” the trust factor in that group is greatly diminished.

 

Small Groups must be no spin zones. Leaders, here are a few tips that may make your group a “No Spin Zone.”

 

  1. Create an environment of grace. Remind the group consistently that God always forgives and then tell how and when He has forgiven you.
  2. Model complete honesty yourself.
  3. When you catch yourself “spinning” (which most of us have a tendency to do) immediately say, “Okay, okay, let me tell you the whole story.” Then do it. You’ll be respected for it.
  4. Ask group members to tell the last 10%. Bill Hybels once did a talk in which he stated that many people give 90% of the story but don’t tell the last 10%, the parts that make them look bad or reveal who they really are.
  5. Praise group members when they are so transparent it causes the cringe factor to fill the room. In most environments the cringe factor is sensed at the moment someone tells all. As you praise those who tell all others will note that this is honorable and appropriate.
  6. Consistently remind the group that, when they are together they are in a no spin zone.  

Small group leader… If you can make your small group a No Spin Zone you’ll create an environment where people can be set free.

 

    “…confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16