Relationships


I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot lately. Our first child to reach adulthood, our son, was married two years ago. Then this past year our eldest daughter married. Almost as close to home…almost…we will attend our nephew’s wedding next month. Weddings are an awesome time to see the beauty of marriage in all its glory. But weddings are just a snapshot. Is it possible for such marital bliss to remain?

It doesn’t seem like it, does it? With celebrity marriages lasting months now (rather than the short number of years we used to expect) and the divorce rate in the church not being much better than the world’s, one would think this is an institution to be avoided at all cost. I mean who signs up to fail?

If you haven’t checked out this video of Ian and Larissa yet, I’d encourage you to. While it may not represent the norm, it certainly gives us something to aspire to…an example of the beauty and the mystery of marriage…a picture of selflessness…and a story that illustrates the things that matter most about marriage and relationships in general.

My wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this year and I’ve gotta say that it just keeps getting better. We are SO looking forward to the next 25. Things haven’t always been perfect but they’ve always made us better and stronger. We decided a long time ago to stay together no matter what and to work through any difficulties or even tragedies…together. When we made that decision it was pollyanna at her best. We had no idea how many curveballs life could throw or just how much it could sometimes hurt…or how much we could hurt each other. Financial calamities, unsought career changes, the loss of children, dangerous health concerns, heck, even deportation by foreign governments. Life is a roller coaster…full of peaks and valleys. In the end though, there is nothing sweeter and no moment more restful to my soul than walking that path with my soulmate, holding hands, snuggling together, and smiling at each other. I see that same joy and peace in Ian and Larissa against even more stark circumstances.

Yep, marriage is beautiful…and mysterious. Ian and Larissa reminded me of that today. May the Lord continue to bless their marriage…and ours.

The past six weeks have been crazy busy around the LifeWay Small Groups halls. And the majority of my time has been devoted to a resource that will release in February. It’s called Stolen, it’s with Chris and Kerry Shook, and it’s compelling … to say the least.

Kerry and Chris Shook founded Woodlands Church, formerly Fellowship of The Woodlands, in l993. Since then the church has grown to 17,000 in average attendance each weekend. It is one of the fastest-growing churches in America. Kerry and Chris wrote the New York Times best-seller One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life as well as Love at Last Sight: Thirty Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships.

Here’s a little bit about this six-week study: Over the course of our lives the Enemy works hard to rob us of the treasures God has set aside for us—our inheritance, strength, peace, dreams, joy, and passion.  In this creative small-group Bible study, Pastor Kerry Shook and his wife, Chris, use specific biblical examples to lead you into a discovery of the ways you can reclaim these treasures. From illustrations of how Paul was able to find strength in God’s promise to the Shunammite woman who had allowed her dream to die to how we see passion play out in the story of the prodigal son, you’ll discover the bigger picture of who we are in Christ and all He intended for us to experience.

Watch for more information coming soon. But first check out this message from the Shooks. And get ready for a journey to reclaim what is rightfully yours!

Until next time,
Signe

“There’s something about the word fresh that changes everything.”  Kerry Shook

As I type this blog post, our latest Platform resource—Fresh: Reviving Stale Faith—is on the way to the printer. While editing this project, Kerry Shook both challenged and inspired me.
Let’s see—meditation, fasting, and silence. OK, so … I have a tendency to get focused on my to-do list, my agenda and often forget to carve out time to meditate on God’s Word on a regular basis. And fasting … well, I’ve never fasted in my entire life. And then there’s silence … my friends who are reading this are laughing out loud right now because being quiet and still are definitely not strengths for me. Honestly, I’m embarrassed to admit those things here. But I bet I’m not alone.

Does your faith ever feel stale? Are you maybe a little intimidated when you think about carrying out these spiritual disciplines in your own life but at the same time you’re at least a little curious—and a lot ready for a fresh faith? Then this study is worth checking out.

To the ancients, daily life included spiritual disciplines such as meditation, fasting, and silence. But our modern world has all but abandoned these time-honoring principles, instead relenting
to overcrowded agendas, busy schedules, and fast-paced, frantic day-to-day routines, leaving us with a faith that’s stale and tired. Yet it’s fresh faith that’s appealing. It’s fresh faith that feels active and alive. It’s fresh faith that makes a difference in this world. In this addition to the Platform series, Kerry Shook explores the ancient disciplines of meditation, fasting, and
silence and reveals the irony of how patterns of the past are really practices that promise to revive our faith.

Kerry is senior pastor of Woodlands Church, one of the fastest-growing churches in America. He and his wife Chris founded Fellowship of The Woodlands, now Woodlands Church, in 1993. Since then the church has grown to 17,000 in average attendance each weekend.

The six small-group sessions are:

1.  The Art of Focus — the benefits of meditation
2.  The Art of Discipline — the strategy for meditation
3.  The Art of Restraint — the purpose and power of fasting
4.  The Art of Emptying Yourself — how to develop a plan for fasting
5.  The Art of Margins — the power of silence to reduce our stress and express our faith
6.  The Art of Silence — how silence can empower communication and increase our sensitivity

Fresh: Reviving Stale Faith will be available December 1 … check it out!

Until next time,
Signe

For the first time, LifeWay Small Groups brings you a Bible study inspired by an award-winning novel. Through the power of visual storytelling, teaching from the author, and scriptural truths, Rooms: The Small-Group Experience will guide your group into deeper biblical truth and understanding.

Rooms is the story of Micah Taylor—a young software tycoon—who inherits an incredible beachfront home from a great uncle he never knew. A home on the Oregon coast. In Cannon Beach. The one place Micah loves. The one place he never wants to see again. But strange things happen in the house. Things Micah can’t explain. Things he can barely believe. The locals say that the house is “spiritual.” But Micah slowly discovers the house isn’t just spiritual, it is a physical manifestation—of his soul.

While Rooms: The Small-Group Experience uses story, character, and themes from the novel, it’s been created so that even someone who has not read the book—or who does not intend to—can still find fresh perspectives and strong biblical content. This study is a powerful experience for those who have read the novel as well as those who haven’t.

Rooms: The Small-Group Experience guides participants through the four most significant themes from the novel:

  • Woundedness: group members will have an opportunity to consider the events of their lives that have tended to drive their behavior most
  • Destiny: group members will explore the true desires of their hearts, what makes them come alive, and what they have been divinely designed to do
  • Warfare: helps group members identify the voices of their lives, recognize truth from lies, and realize the potent weapons for combating the enemy that are at their disposal
  • Freedom: takes group members on a journey toward greater freedom in Christ through the sort of healing made possible in Him

I’ve edited lots of incredible LifeWay resources in my almost 22 years here, but I’ve never been quite as excited as I am about Rooms. This study will be available October 1. Click here for a sneak peek.

Until next time,
Signe

While I enjoyed the movie immensely, it’s a little tougher to enjoy sometimes without the popcorn and when the main characters in the story are all too real. Since discovering that our youngest son has not only a growth deficiency but genetic abnormalities, it just never seems like we can fully come to grips with what we’re up against. While Ben’s development has gone much better than I expected when I first heard the news, it seems that every visit to the doctor brings another punch to the gut. This past month it was news that he has four kidneys for some mysterious reason and his blood pressure is strangely high for a six-year old. Physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy…it all adds up. “One step at a time” I tell my wife, “Everything will work out just fine.” Of course, fine is relative.

Last week I got on an elevator with a fella who was probably forty but whose smile made him look more like four. He had a nicely pressed uniform on and was delivering packages. For more than a passing moment, I saw in this cherubic man my son Ben years from now. I wondered what his parents’ expectations were when he was little. I wondered when they found out that he would probably not live what most of us consider a normal life. How many punches in the gut did they receive…or was it just one big one? I wondered if he lived with his parents now or if he was able to live on his own. I wondered if he had a driver’s license. I wondered if his parents were still alive and what he would do without them. And once again I thought of Ben. A little selfish I know given that this guy deserved his own story without my absconding with it for a pity party or even just somber personal reflection. I would like to think that I was just hurting for Ben in those moments, but if I’m honest that’s probably not all it was. Ben seems to be as happy as can be so I probably mourn in no small part the death of a dream.

Ben may yet overcome his difficulties and live a more fulfilling life than I can imagine. That’s our hope. And God really is in control. I hold firmly to Romans 8:28, one of the first Bible verses I memorized after becoming a Christian at age 20…but no longer in a trite way…no longer as a pat answer. Instead, it has worked its way through my soul and I’m now in a position to really share what it has meant to me with others…thankfully. God’s Word doesn’t always take the worry away completely, or the pain. But it does keep me anchored in faith with not a small measure of hope. And I can’t help but hurt for those who try to make sense of the never-ending story or even the rollercoaster that is life without the love of Christ.

That’s just one more reason to share the hope that is within me. I hope you’ll be encouraged to share your own hope as well…through the lens of your own story.

When God made us, He gave us the incredible ability to make associations. We all have triggers that transport us from the here and now to past experiences. Maybe the smell of chocolate chip cookies takes you back to your grandma’s kitchen when you were a kid. Perhaps a certain song takes you back to prom night, 1988.

This weekend, I experienced the magic that is association. But it wasn’t good. It was terrible actually. Starting in middle school, I had an ongoing feud with a girl that lasted all throughout high school. I’m not the kind of person who thrives on drama or seeks to contend. I find senseless conflict, well, senseless. It drives me crazy. As much as I tried to put water under the bridge with this person, she refused to let it go.

Finally, graduation cut my ties with her. I could finally bury those feelings. No more anger. No more jealousy. No more competing.

Until I saw her the other day. By some miracle, I didn’t run into this girl for eight glorious years. But there she sat, behind the wheel of the car blazing past mine. The same car that had been riding my bumper for the last five minutes. And the same car that would cut me off at the intersection ahead.

I was immediately angry. All those ugly feelings I thought I’d buried rushed back and took over my mind. She would drive like a jerk. Hasn’t changed a bit. What’s her problem anyway?

And I thought I was more mature than that. Ha.

Time and space may hide your symptoms of unforgiveness, but only intentional forgiveness can take them away for good. I thought it was done and over with, but I never once asked God to help me weed those things out of my heart. I didn’t have to face her anymore so I didn’t think I had to face the issue. But it sprung up healthy and strong in a split second. And it wasn’t pretty. Just ask my husband who had to endure ugly me that day.

Who do you avoid? Who takes you back to an ugly place in your heart? Don’t be naive and think you’ve overcome those feelings when you’ve just swept them under the rug. Let God help you clean it all out or it’ll pop up years later and make you look (and feel) like a jerk.

*For more on the intense ramifications of unforgiveness, check out Have the Funeral by James MacDonald with your small group.

In 2005, precious baby Rebekah was born to my friends Dave and Teresa, two of the godliest people I know. The way they live their lives has always been an inspiration to me, but never as much as in the years since Rebekah’s birth. You see, Rebekah only lived for six days.

I will never truly know what the past six years have been like for my friends. And in totally honesty, I feel guilty that I haven’t been more involved in their lives during that time — especially since I’ve been a recipient of the blessings Dave and Teresa have experienced through their grief.

I never got to meet Rebekah, but the impact her life and death have had on me is indescribable. Her family has allowed her story to live on in a truly dynamic way.

Dave and Teresa, along with their daughter, Lydia, have taught me that God has a significant plan for us — no matter how long or short our lives. I have seen His strength and goodness in the midst of tragedy because this family had allowed me to. They have been open about their emotions — good and bad. They have shown their humanness without shame. I have witnessed them give God the glory through unbelievable sacrifice. I have been challenged and humbled. And I’m so thankful. Dave and Teresa’s message is one of not letting loss defeat us but instead allowing it to change us for the better.

Maybe you are grieving the loss of something or someone significant. Or perhaps you are walking that road with someone dear to you. What an incredible testimony your story can be. I encourage you to share your journey with others in your life—your small group, your community, your tribe. You never know what God will teach them through you.

Six days, one tiny baby, a God-honoring family, and my life will never by the same.

Until next time,
Signe

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