Last week Kris posted a blogpost that included this video. This spawned some serious questions for those of us who are small group leaders, people in the trenches leading Christ followers who sincerely want to know what the truth is.
I’m wondering… Small group leader, what do you think you should tell a group member when he or she has been willing to and sincerely has “wrestled” with doctrinal issues that are debatable. Unlike homosexuality which we are given a very blatant perspective on in Scripture. issues like Calvinism vs. Arminianism is more perplexing. What do we say to a group member when he/she has journied into these waters but were unable to honestly, down deep in his/her being come to a conclusion? The insinuation of the conversation here is that you must choose one or the other and if you don’t you’ve been unwilling to go the mat, too lazy to wrestle with the issue.
And to make it even more perplexing… The group member may be struggling to come to a conclusion concerning a doctrinal issue that is still being debated within his/her own denomination. This friend is confused realizing that scholars in his/her own religious classification can’t even agree on the issue. Like the denominational leadership, no bottom line is settling into the heart of the group member. They’re not scholars and they have no passion for becoming one. Most likely, they have never heard of “the law of non-contradiction.” If they did they might ask some interesting questions…
- Must I wrestle with “the law of non-contradiction” too?
- Do I have to say I’ve come to a conclusion even if my heart is still struggling with this issue?
- Do I lie to myself and others and say I believe something even though I don’t so that I fit into someone else’s belief box and become 100% acceptable in my circle of Christian relationship?
What if they say to you…,
- I can live with the inner tension realizing God can think in dimensions that I cannot and still be content.
- What if they remind you that Deut. 29:29 points out that God has secrets? Should you push that small group member to come to a doctrinal bottom line?
- What if they say to you, “I really don’t care about stuff like this.”?
How would you respond to a small group member if he/she were wrestling with a debatable doctrinal issue? Would love to learn from you!
Deut. 29:29
The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.
December 1, 2008 at 9:36 am
I fall somewhere between this orthodox position (“there is a truth and you must figure it all out NOW”) and the postmodern position (“there are truths which are unknowable this side of Heaven”). I see both positions as more extreme than necessary (I’m a mediator, so maybe you saw that coming). I would tell this hypothetical small group participant that there is truth (for all the reasons stated in this video), that I believe God wants us to know the truth, and that IN HIS TIME, His spirit will use a combination of His Word, your prayer life and the church to reveal that truth to you more clearly. I would encourage him/her to continue to pursue truth, but always with a healthy dose of humility and patience. That, it seems to me, is what is sometimes missing in conversations similar to the one in the video.
December 1, 2008 at 10:24 am
Blake,
Thanks a ton for your input.
Rick
December 1, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Don’t denominations exist because Christian leadership couldn’t come to terms on hot-topics? So it isn’t surprising to think that this scenario of a new/young/confused believer isn’t played out quite often.
Blake seems to be onto a good trail at first glance … “I would encourage him/her to continue to pursue truth, but always with a healthy dose of humility and patience.” But to bring back into play what Rick’s (or whoever posted this) set up to the question … this person has been seeking and searching and is to the point of “confusion” and most likely frustration. So me batting that ball back across the net to them with the encouragement to keep pursuing truth with the assurance that God’s going to reveal it in “HIS TIME” … well, for the folks in my small group, that just wouldn’t fly. Many are not from a situation where the ‘spiritually-mature-thing-to-do’ is in their repertoire.
While Blake’s statement is absolutely true (especially the humility and patience part … I had to learn that the hard way), I just know how his statement sounds to the ears of a desperate seeker who’s prayer life is non-existent and who doesn’t know “His Word” from his word. AND it was the leadership at the church that planted the seed from which these questions grew. So including the church as a part of the reassurance from which the truth will be revealed probably won’t get the best response.
I’ve worn the shoes of the person with all questions and no answers. It never helped when someone gave me an answer which involved doing what I THOUGHT I was already doing. Because … patience and humility aside … IT WASN’T WORKING.
Whenever faced with this type of scenario (mostly with unchurched people who don’t speak the language, but also with some long-time church folks too … even a couple of official missionaries … shhhh, don’t tell anyone), the following three things tend to happen…
1. An affirmation of their questions. Let them know that they aren’t alone and that people have been dealing with those same questions for a LOOOOONG time. Which tells us that there aren’t easy answers to those questions and it is perfectly normal (even very healthy) that they have questions like this.
2. Share my own struggles (past and CURRENT). Cause’ Lord knows I haven’t got much figured out yet.
3. Then walk together with them as we struggle to find what answers others have come up with … as well as the best answer we can discover through the combination Blake mentioned (Bible study, prayer, the Church, …along with that healthy dose of humility and patience). THIS IS WHERE MANY SMALL GROUP LEADERS MAY MISS THE BOAT. I can say that cause’ I know I have before. The time commitment can be huge. Therefore it would be easier to cut em’ loose on their own to potentially get more frustrated and confused. But I’m willing to bet that the small group leaders that have taken the time to follow through on this have some incredible stories to tell.
I’m not saying this those three steps are tried, tested, and true … so everyone needs to put them into practice right now if someone is having a struggle or issue with doctrinal questions. It just seems to help provide the spiritual surgery needed rather than a holy band-aid that falls off and allows the wound to get infected.
I’m now officially off of my soap-box. Sorry if it seemed like I got a little huffy and/or long-winded.
December 2, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Wow! You’ve been there too. Ever noticed David, that many people have been there and many more will go to that place of misunderstanding and confusion. A question… Is it a necessity for someone to come to a conclusion on a topic that has been hotly debated for centuries?
December 2, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Boy I hope not Rick. If so, how many of us are up that proverbial creek?
December 2, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I like what Rick said. I like it a lot. As I read it, I realized that it really does matter who is asking the question and what their needs are.
For most of the people in my groups, making a decision about whether they are Calvinist or Armenian is pretty far down the list of priorities in terms of doctrinal issues. On issues like that, what I think my particular groups need from me is a non-anxious “don’t get too bogged down in this” attitude, while at the same time giving them an honest, humble explanation of both positions.
December 2, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Oops. Sorry. I meant to say I liked what David said. That’s who I was addressing. No offense, Rick. I liked what you said too.